What is the general language or message?

The tone should be concern. The intention should be clear. It should be unwavering.

“We love you, we’ve always loved you, we’ll never stop loving you but we’re not willing to watch you kill yourself with drugs”.

The family should definitely express concern but not sympathise with the addict. Sympathy is a form of agreement and can back fire by justifying the addiction.

Without any anger or fear, the addict should “get” from every one present that the situation is known and that he/she needs treatment. Don’t allow stories of family problems and life’s troubles sway the attention off the point that the addict has a problem and needs to seek help fixing it. This is where the family’s preparation pays off.